Pregnancy-- everyone is different

I was asked by a few of my friends who are either pregnant or trying to get pregnant to write a blog about what to expect. So I asked a couple of my girlfriends who recently went through pregnany to help me out.
Now the first and foremost thing you need to remember is that EVERY pregnancy is different! You will soon realize that once you read everyone's story!!

Katie: Here are my insights: (1) Don't make the mistake of wearing just a panty liner after your water breaks. I wasn't told that my water would continue to discharge up until the baby arrives. Buy yourself some super maxi pads, ladies and save yourself the embarrassment of walking into the hospital with a drenched pair of pants. (2) Leave the pretty little thongs at home, girls, when you pack your hospital bag. You will continue to have period like flow for a few days after birth. It's the one time in your life that wearing those comfortable granny panties is definitely a-ok! (3) I was also told that my linea nigra (the dark line that goes straight down the middle of your belly) would go away eventually. Well, it's been over 9 months and there is still a visible sign of the line. Good thing it's not bikini season. (4) PLUGGED MILK DUCTS!!! One of the most painful feelings, short of giving birth. One of the causes of the plugged ducts is wearing underwire bras or wearing bras that are too binding. I made the mistake of buying nursing bras with underwire because I thought they would give me support. It only made things worse. I also bought a few nursing sports bra because I was determined to go running again after a few weeks. I didn't realize that wearing a binding piece of fabric could cause your mild ducts to be plugged. For those of you who plan on breastfeeding, make sure your bra is wireless and not too snug. (5) One last thing, invest in the swaddle sacks. They really work wonders in keeping your baby calm and napping peacefully for much longer than without. Unfortunately, it was well after Khloe turned a month old that we learned about this fact. Your precious one has lived their first 10 months in a very warm and tight space:-) Why wouldn't they want to continue to feel safe after they leave the mommy's belly? Trust me on this one! Your tired body will thank you once your baby is sleeping sounder in the swaddle sack.

Lindsay: I have also been blessed with pretty easy pregnancies. I had horrible acid reflux at night with Kaylee but that was about it. So far with Grant (25 weeks) everything has been great and I've felt really good too. I think one piece of advice I have is to not compare yourself to other pregnant women. Every body and belly grows differently. My belly was enormous with my daughter and it appears it is going to do the same thing again. You see some women that barely show and you start to question if you are doing something wrong or you wonder "how the hell did she manage that." Do not compare yourself! Your body will grow the way your baby needs it to.
After pregnancy just watch out for the evil Natzi lactating nurses. I have never wanted to hit somebody in the face more than the lady that told me I would be hurting my baby if I did not breastfeed. 2.5 weeks into a baby needing to feed every 20 minutes because I wasn't producing I finally let my husband go buy some formula. I felt like such a failure. But she was so much happier after we switched. I was being selfish. We went the soy route and had no problems with reflux. The whole "if you don't breastfeed your child will have a bad immune system" is crap in my opinion. My daughter is almost 5 and is sick maybe twice a year. Do what works best for you and your baby.
I'll end with the daycare topic. I promise it is not as scary of a place as some people make it out to be. I love being a Mom but I also love my career. Kaylee went to daycare at 6 weeks and our newest addition will do the same. Just do your research and pick somewhere that is more like a school rather than daycare. Also be prepared for it to take a few months to get used to. Those first few weeks sucks but once it becomes routine it is better. My daughter loves school and always has.


Misti: USE YOUR WORDS!!!! I remember going CRAZY on Thorin one night because he was finishing some work I knew he needed to do... but I have a screaming baby and he was not coming in to help me... in T's mind, he was hurrying to get his work finished so he could releave me completely for the night... In my mind, he was not paying attention. I didn't want to tell him to come help - just wanted to be pissed off! We talked after I went ape crazy on him and I vowed to use my words and said if I need anything - including help!

Kristi: Pregnancy for me was wonderful.....It was all I ever hoped for. Yes I got lucky:) Now there were something’s that weren't always good, but I loved every minute of it. I guess because I waited for the day I was pregnant for ever. So I would say enjoy it. Because all the sickness, heartburn and being uncomfortable, is all worth it!!!!! The day you hold your little one for the first time you will forget everything else. Now as for afterwards, I guess since I work for an OB/GYN, I expected the worst. It wasn't that bad. Of course bleeding for 6-7 weeks was no fun, but I just knew it was going to be worse. Another thing is the first 2weeks. Those were the hardest for me. Very emotional. Breastfeeding didn't work out and I had it stuck in my head that was the only way I would feed my baby. But it didn't work out. And yes I was EXTREMELY upset, disappointed and every other feeling you could have. I knew Rylan needed to eat and formula it was. But I tried and tried my hardest and that is all that matters. As for advice from others, take it in, but always know that it might not work for your baby and that is okay. You can't really do too much wrong, and when those little eyes look up at you at the end of the day.....you have done EVERYTHING right. DON'T rush your pregnancy. I couldn't wait to have Rylan. I was so impatient and now I miss it. I love having him here with me, but I miss the kicking, and crazy as it sounds I miss my belly:(

Kelly L: I think it's funny because it really is true that every pregnancy is different... just as different as every baby. I'm reading everyone's comments and thinking I had the opposite experience for a lot of them. Soooo... that would be number 1 - everyone is different, but EVERYONE who has ever been a mom will try to give you advice. You can take some and leave some knowing that the same things won't necessarily work or be right for you.

I didn't realize how much and how long I would bleed after Maggie was born. The amount of blood that comes out is CRAZY... where is it all coming from? When will it end? Ugh.. I bled for 9 weeks!!!!

If you are one of the lucky ones (like me!) you will get more sleep than you will expect based on the horror stories you hear from others.

Don't be ashamed to ask for help those first weeks. It is exhausting trying to learn how to care for a newborn, take care of yourself, and all the other things you have to do. Let your partner help!! I had a tendency to want to do everything myself and had to learn that letting Daddy help was not only good for me to get breaks, but helped him bond with the baby and gain confidence as a new dad.

Trust your gut. Be your own advocate in your pregnancy. You know your body better than anyone else. You will also know your baby better than anyone else.
Do what works for you and don't stress about how the books say to do things, milestones, etc. We have had the best success going with the flow and doing things on our own time.

Christina: Pregnancy was a piece of cake compared to the first 8 weeks of motherhood. Enjoy everything about pregnancy, the good, the bad, the ugly. I didn't know how big my boobs would really get... from an A to a C... I was more worried they would get stretch marks than my stomach.

If you have to have a C-section it is not the end of the world. Your lady parts will be all intact and you can sit in a chair just fine afterwards. I recovered after two C-section procedures with ease and even traveled from Singapore-Houston 10 days after the first one. The Epidural is another story, I think it was worse than the actual procedure, the reaction my body had was throwing up, itching, nauseated. HORRIBLE! If you have to have a C-section buy a stomach binder before hand and wear it EVERYWHERE, it helps so much. No real trauma or unexpected pain with the C-section, the drugs afterwards are great!!

Breastfeeding.... it is a love hate relationship. IT IS REALLY HARD in the beginning and frustrating to no end sometimes. It hurts, your nipples will be raw, you will wince in pain the first couple of weeks, you do have to modify your diet, you do have to stick with it for it to be worth it. I didn't no certain foods would upset the baby, mexican, coffee, veggies, any spices at all. I live in Asia and we eat spice everyday here... Then keeping up your supply of milk is a whole another story. When you start working out again you have to drink tons of water to keep the milk coming... who knew?? There is a medication that helps produce more but not FDA approved.Motherhood takes time to fall in love with. You are in love with your baby at first sight but motherhood?? You have to court it for a while maybe two to three months long?? I loved my baby, hated motherhood. Possibly a bit of baby blues too. Everyone else seems so happy with their babies... always good to get out of the house, join new mothers support group, talk with other mommies... they are in the same situation. My little one is 4 months old and I am finally LIKING motherhood... hope to get to LOVING real soon.

If Breastfeeding, pump a bottle and let dad take a night feed so you can get some rest. ONE BOTTLE A DAY WON'T kill your baby. Let dad do bath time and bedtime. It makes them seem included and then when you leave for the first girls night you won't be so worried.

Sex after baby, or more like what sex? Even after a C-section it is not the same. Especially if you are breastfeeding. Never knew I would lose my sex drive because of that. Foreplay never was this important. Poor husband... you really have to work at that aspect of your marriage afterwards. I didn't think this would be so hard, but man it has been the hardest for us. The first baby has really been a test.Right one more thing, I strongly second that TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS comment. I hated reading all the books, I trusted my instinct with everything and then when I questioned it I would look in a book or call a doctor friend and it was always right on par. Don't listen to others, you know your baby best and even when you are still getting to know your baby, your instinct is right!

Sarah T: Ok if you know me you know I tend to say what I shouldn't say and my husband cringes at the thought of what i'll say :) that's what makes me, me i guess! TMI :) a friend asked me if i'd post about this on my blog and i wanted to bug again my husband said please don't i beg of you. what i can tell is this is about 20 girls and you probably all don't care so here goes. i went through a "natural labor" class called the Bradley Method, and had a natural labor without an epidural. i had a wonderful experience but my extire labor was 3 hours and i'm not sure i could have done it had it been longer. my point/advice is about something i learned in the class called perineal massage. i won't go into too much detail because the link i'm going to send will do that but basically i do believe it's what allowed me to just have one stitch even though things moved very quickly for me. i delivered one month early but started this process in my third trimester little by little. it's weird and odd and you just have to kind of close your eyes and do it because it helps a ton, at least in my experience. http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/episiotomy/a/perimassage.htmok since i sent that now i have to put something normal i suppose. my thing would be to not try to get caught up in the mommy competitiveness. don't think that's a word. anywho what i mean is people trying to one up each other about the weight you gain, or the way you looked during pregnancy, or once your child comes, when they might hit developmental milestones. i will second what holly said about trsuting your insticts. my little Brooks was early and has been little since day one, but at year 1 we are at a stout 23 pounds. it was hard to listen to people who had boys bigger than him at much younger stages but i trusted that God knew exactyl the size he was to be and when and i really focused hard on not trying to comptete with other moms but celebrate what God had given me. something i am still trying to do!

Holly: Treasure each and every day you are pregnant. You truly are a walking miracle. Don't rush thru the end by complaining that you just want the pregnancy to be over. Babies come when they are supposed to not when we want them to. Once the baby arrives, trust your instincts - not those of your mom, your friend, or what you read on the Internet. If you think something isn't right, it's probably not. Hold your baby for as long as you want. You can't spoil a baby! They will be crawling/walking/running around before you know it. Look forward to their firsts but don't miss all their last times at doing something. Wondering if you should expand your family? You'll never regret having another baby but you could regret not having another one. I could go on and on! :)

Carrie: #1. Enjoy the 2nd trimester, it truly is the best you'll feel for a long time. #2. Baby blues is no joke- be prepared and know its normal and it will pass, and NO you didn't just get yourself into something you can't handle- it gets better! #3. Breastfeeding is AWFUL the first few weeks, but it too gets better.

Amanda: My first trimester wasn’t all fun and games. I had nausea at night and was in bed @ 7 every night.  I ended up losing weight (7lbs) instead of gaining! I CRAVED Mexican food. And yes, many nights I would make Chris go to Ninfa’s or Chuy’s for me! Its what the baby needed J Other than the nausea at the beginning, pregnancy was pretty easy for me. I really enjoyed it. I thought people were crazy when they would say I would miss my belly… I miss it so much. Knowing that I am growing a little human was so amazing!Things to do:#1- eat healthy#2- stay active…even though you are completely exhausted at the end of the day, go and enjoy a nice walk around the block ( I had a miscarriage before I had Archie and I know that me being active had nothing to do with causing it, but I was still scared. Once the second trimester hit and I had more energy, Chris and I went on walks 4-5 times a week)#3- do what you feel is right#4- enjoy every moment… there will be some stressful times once the little one comes, but just step back, take a deep breath and remember that this to shall pass#5- let dad help. I can’t tell you how much help it was having Chris off when I had Archie. Major props to those moms’s who do it by themselves.#6- don’t get competitive with other moms (baby gear, development milestones etc.)  There is no need to go out and buy all the most expensive baby gear or furniture. Also your baby will roll, babble, crawl, walk and talk when they want to.#7- don’t stress about breastfeeding. I was so worried that Archie wasn’t getting enough and that I was starving my child. I lasted 5 weeks and I am totally ok with that. Sure I wish I could of breastfed longer but I just wasn’t producing. I tried and that’s all I ever said I wanted to do. Archie is now 7 months and healthy as can be!#8- Go have a girls night. When Archie was 2 weeks old (after many stressful days/nights) Chris made me go have drinks with my girlfriends. This was much needed.#9- Ask questions. Remember there are NO stupid questions. When we were in the hospital, Chris called the nurse to have her show him how to change a diaper!#10- Find a pediatrician! I worked at a pediatric office so I didn’t have to SEARCH for who would be taking care of Archie! But do this ahead of time. Call the offices in your area and see if you can make a prenatal appointment with a doctor. It’s kind of like a first interview of who will be taking care of your child. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Let the doctor know your expectations. In the long run—if you don’t end up liking your pediatrician don’t feel bad to “FIRE” them and move on to someone else.